Trust is a vital commodity in this world but one that can’t be bought or faked. Trust is the driver of success, productivity, and happiness.
Here are the top 12 tips for gaining and keep people’s trust in personal and business relationships. They are all based on the fundamental keywords of:
• Honesty
• Respect
• Kindness
1. Respect the other person – keep your commitments, make them your priority.
2. Give people the respect of your full attention when you’re talking. Make eye contact and minimize distractions by not having your phone nearby.
3. Be responsive. Reply to emails and messages straightaway.
4. Initiate phone calls and plans to catch up—don’t wait for the other person always to do it. Never cancel at the last minute unless there’s an emergency.
5. Don’t dominate the conversation. Ask how the person you’re talking to is feeling and genuinely listen to the reply. Acknowledge how they are without either trying to fix their problem or dismissing it. Or worse by telling them about your own ‘worse’ problems.
6. Give advice only if your friend or colleague asks for it. If they are having a hard time, they want to be heard and don’t want someone to fix things for them. Allow them the space to feel what they’re feeling.
7. Respect others’ privacy – if they share something with you, don’t share it with others. Don’t gossip or talk about people behind their backs.
8. Don’t push to get your way over everything – compromise, give and take.
9. Don’t ever, ever lie. Invariably lying gets found out, as does talking behind people’s backs. It’s tough to come back once you break trust by lying.
10. Don’t talk over the top of your friend or colleague or finish their sentences. Not only is it rude, but it’s also domineering and patronizing and implies you know better than they do.
11. Remember things, key events, likes and interests of the other person. Remember their birthday, their preferred coffee, their dog’s name. That’s easy to do when you follow tip #2.
12. When you meet someone find points of connection. Let these points of connection come out naturally in conversation and remember them for next time. You will come across as a nice person who cares.
Remember why you’re doing all of this. It’s because relationships and getting on with people is important. You’re not doing it to prove you’re a better person or to make money or get the advantage over the next guy. You’re doing it simply to build trust with other human beings.