Trust seems a good and natural thing self-evidently. It’s right up there with loyalty, honesty, and respectfulness as qualities you want to see in yourself and others.
But you could be doing yourself a disservice by unconsciously not trusting your judgment or intuition. Perhaps you suffer from self-doubt or anxiety and have been hurt in the past. You may find it difficult to trust your partner, friends or colleagues.
How can you tell if you don’t trust yourself, or other people? Trust in yourself and others is not an easy thing to measure. Unlike height or weight, you can’t tell just by looking. It’s also probably something you don’t think about much. As with many other intangible qualities you have to look at patterns and habits of behavior to be able to gauge your levels of trust.
You can use a quick checklist to discover if your trust levels aren’t as high as they could be. If you answer in the positive to most of these, your trusting nature could use a boost.
1. How truthful are you? Do you lie to yourself and other people about your availability or willingness to do things? Do you make excuses for poor behavior?
2. Do you compare yourself with other people and feel resentful of other people’s success or happiness?
3. Do you argue with other people in your head and end up feeling furious and hurt by things that were never actually said? Do you expect your partner or loved ones to know what you need but don’t tell them?
4. Do you catastrophize or automatically think the worst in most situations? Do you find it hard to move on from experiences? Do you go over what you did or didn’t do or berating yourself or others over problems?
5. Do you hold grudges against people you feel have wronged you? Do you find it hard to forgive yourself for past mistakes?
6. Do you find it difficult to delegate tasks or projects at work? Do you trust your staff or colleagues to get the job done or do you micromanage?
If you identify with some, or all of these signs, it’s time to do some work on developing greater trust. Here are three things you can do to increase your trust levels:
1. Commit to being more open, kind and positive to yourself and other people.
2. Take a deep breath and challenge each negative thought as it comes up to develop a more positive mindset.
3. Cultivate a more mindful approach to commitments and set clear boundaries. Nothing builds trust like keeping your promises!